Napoleon Bonaparte was 34 years old when he was crowned Emperor of the French in 1804. In what became known as the Napoleonic Wars (1803-1815), he conquered most of Europe. By the time of his final defeat at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815, well over 5 million soldiers and civilians had died in the conflicts. It is during his reign a story has been passed down to us. Whether it's true or not is up to debate, but the story goes like this:
A mother once approached Napoleon seeking a pardon for her son. The emperor replied that the young man had committed a certain offense twice and justice demanded death as the penalty for his crimes.
"But I don't ask for justice," the mother explained. "I plead for mercy."
"But your son does not deserve mercy," Napoleon replied.
"Sir," the woman cried, "If he deserved it, it wouldn't be mercy. And so I ask for mercy."
"Well, then," the emperor said, "I will have mercy." And he spared the woman's son.
A word that is quite often associated with mercy is forgiveness. In fact, Jesus, in his sermon on the mount, declared, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." Throughout Scripture we are told that receiving forgiveness from God is tied directly to our willingness to show forgiveness to others.
One of the first school shootings I can remember took place on December 1, 1997. Students had gathered at Heath High School in Paducah, KY for their regular prayer meeting before school. As they prayed, fourteen year old Michael Carneal fired eight shots into the group, killing three girls and wounding five others.
He was immediately arrested and taken in for questioning. Before he had been booked, before many of the details of the crime were even known, and without any expression of remorse on Carneal's part, something extraordinary happened. The families of the victims placed a large sign outside the school that said, "We forgive you, Mike!" Wow. Not sure I could have done that.
Another story even more incredible comes from a tragedy even more horrific that took place several years later. On October 2, 2006, Charles Carl Roberts IV entered a one-room schoolhouse for Amish Children in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. He sent the adults and boys from the school before shooting the girls execution style, one by one. Five girls were killed and five others wounded, all between the ages of six and thirteen. It was a horrific tragedy which only ended when Roberts took his own life.
Later that day, several Amish men, including the father of one of the girls who died, went to the home of Roberts' widow. There, they offered forgiveness to her dead husband, and their prayers and support to his widow and children. A few days later, thirty members of the Amish Community attended the shooter's funeral, and they later set up a fund for his widow and children. Mrs. Roberts was one of the few "English" invited to the funerals of any of the girls who were killed.
There were mixed reactions to this display of forgiveness amongst the media. Many argued it was ridiculous to offer forgiveness to a murderer of children who killed himself and thus showed no remorse or sorrow for what he had done. Others were amazed, and the story quickly spread. Eventually it became a book, Amish Grace and a Lifetime movie by the same name.
The media fell into the trap that many of us find ourselves falling into: The trap of believing that when a person wrongs us, we should only offer pardon to them when they have apologized and righted the wrong they inflicted upon us. The problem is that in doing so, we give all the power back to the person who wronged us in the first place. Our willingness to forgive, to let go and begin to heal, becomes dependent on the willingness of someone who has wronged us to realize the wrong and make amends. When that person is unable or unwilling to show remorse and ask for forgiveness, we become imprisoned by bitterness, resentment, and anger.
God never gives us the option to withhold forgiveness. Colossians 3:12-14 tells us, "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
And so we are to forgive. Every one of us has been wronged, hurt deeply by someone we love. If you haven't, give it time, you will. If you have been withholding forgiveness, it's time to offer mercy. Not because the person we forgive deserves it. If they deserved it, it wouldn't be mercy. We offer mercy because it frees our own hearts from the prison of bitterness and anger that unforgiveness can bring. It puts the burden back on the one who has wronged us, and helps us to let go and move on.
May we all be givers and receivers of mercy.
"Forgiveness is not always easy. At times it feels more painful than the wound we suffere, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness." - Marianne Williamson.
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| Napoleon Bonaparte |
"But I don't ask for justice," the mother explained. "I plead for mercy."
"But your son does not deserve mercy," Napoleon replied.
"Sir," the woman cried, "If he deserved it, it wouldn't be mercy. And so I ask for mercy."
"Well, then," the emperor said, "I will have mercy." And he spared the woman's son.
A word that is quite often associated with mercy is forgiveness. In fact, Jesus, in his sermon on the mount, declared, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." Throughout Scripture we are told that receiving forgiveness from God is tied directly to our willingness to show forgiveness to others.
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| Michael Carneal |
He was immediately arrested and taken in for questioning. Before he had been booked, before many of the details of the crime were even known, and without any expression of remorse on Carneal's part, something extraordinary happened. The families of the victims placed a large sign outside the school that said, "We forgive you, Mike!" Wow. Not sure I could have done that.
Another story even more incredible comes from a tragedy even more horrific that took place several years later. On October 2, 2006, Charles Carl Roberts IV entered a one-room schoolhouse for Amish Children in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. He sent the adults and boys from the school before shooting the girls execution style, one by one. Five girls were killed and five others wounded, all between the ages of six and thirteen. It was a horrific tragedy which only ended when Roberts took his own life.
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| Members of the Amish community react to the shootings |
There were mixed reactions to this display of forgiveness amongst the media. Many argued it was ridiculous to offer forgiveness to a murderer of children who killed himself and thus showed no remorse or sorrow for what he had done. Others were amazed, and the story quickly spread. Eventually it became a book, Amish Grace and a Lifetime movie by the same name.
The media fell into the trap that many of us find ourselves falling into: The trap of believing that when a person wrongs us, we should only offer pardon to them when they have apologized and righted the wrong they inflicted upon us. The problem is that in doing so, we give all the power back to the person who wronged us in the first place. Our willingness to forgive, to let go and begin to heal, becomes dependent on the willingness of someone who has wronged us to realize the wrong and make amends. When that person is unable or unwilling to show remorse and ask for forgiveness, we become imprisoned by bitterness, resentment, and anger.
God never gives us the option to withhold forgiveness. Colossians 3:12-14 tells us, "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
And so we are to forgive. Every one of us has been wronged, hurt deeply by someone we love. If you haven't, give it time, you will. If you have been withholding forgiveness, it's time to offer mercy. Not because the person we forgive deserves it. If they deserved it, it wouldn't be mercy. We offer mercy because it frees our own hearts from the prison of bitterness and anger that unforgiveness can bring. It puts the burden back on the one who has wronged us, and helps us to let go and move on.
May we all be givers and receivers of mercy.
"Forgiveness is not always easy. At times it feels more painful than the wound we suffere, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness." - Marianne Williamson.
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