"There's a first time for everything..."
It's one of those overused phrases that is nevertheless true. Tonight is the first soccer game of the season for my daughter Rachel and son Caleb. For Rachel, it's her third season. For Caleb, his first. Caleb is the kind of kid who is never willing to admit when he's worried, scared, hurt, or angry (though sometimes whether he admits it or not it's pretty easy to tell). I won't even bother asking him about his feelings about the game tonight because he'll claim he doesn't have any...but I remember one of my "firsts."
The first time I preached a sermon was back in 1998 in Owensville, IN. I was being critiqued on the sermon because at the time I was taking a course on sermon preparation. I don't get nervous speaking in front of people, never have. That day I must have just lost track of time or prepared too much, I don't know...but my sermon dragged on for 45 minutes. The critique was generally positive, but with a very important piece of advice..."The mind cannot absorb what the seat cannot endure." Good advice. I learned a lot that first year I spent in ministry, mostly about what not to do (as we all do in something new). I struggled, among other things, with feelings of inadequacy and doubt about whether I was "cut out" for what I was doing, or had any business at all trying to do it.
Anyway, I was trying to put myself in Caleb's figurative soccer "shoes" and think through what I can say to him to somehow prepare him for something new like his first ever soccer game. The advice I'm giving him is, I think, good advice for any of us who are venturing into something new and unknown in life:
1) It's ok to mess up. Let me say that again. It's OK to mess up! Why? Because, with the exception of Jesus, we have all messed up! What's important is not that we are perfect, but that we learn from our mistakes and make the corrections necessary in our lives so when the same situation comes up again, we do a little better the next time. That's the process of maturing that we all go through in life. Before he was crucified upside down in Rome for preaching about Jesus, Peter denied that same Jesus three times, right in front of him. He messed up, but he learned from it.
2) Don't think more highly of yourself than you should. There's nothing wrong with being confident. There is a whole lot wrong with thinking you're the best and making sure you let it be known through your words and actions at every opportunity. Paul wrote to the church in Rome, "Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us."
Trust me, you're not "all that." I'm most definitely not "all that." When you start building yourself up, you're in for a long, painful crash back to earth.
3) Don't build yourself up at the expense of others. If you cut everyone else's legs off at the knees to make yourself taller, you haven't grown an inch. You've simply made everyone else shorter. I told Caleb that the best thing he can to to make himself look good on the soccer field is to play in such a way that the team has success. That way everyone looks good. Success as a team is always better than personal glory. Ask any professional athlete who won a scoring title or made it to twelve all-star games but never won a championship. Romans 12:10 says, "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
This is true in life! Look for ways to make those around you better. In your workplace, on your team, in your family. Let's all grow taller, instead of just making others shorter.
4) Give praise to those who deserve it. Make sure you look for opportunities to praise those around you. If a teammate scores a goal...don't get upset that you didn't score...be genuinely happy for them. That way when your time comes, you'll have a team full of people who are excited for you in return (at least we hope that's what happens). When you see your kids or your spouse or your friend do something praiseworthy, take a moment to call them out for their success! A little praise can go a long way.
Likewise, remember the One who always deserves the credit. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." It doesn't matter what you're doing. This applies to every area of life: sports, work, relationships, money, etc. If we're motivated by personal glory, that will make US look good...but that's not what life is supposed to be about. It's all about making God look good. So if I have success on the playing field...it's an opportunity to thank God and give Him praise for keeping me safe, giving me success, and for giving me the physical and mental skills to be successful in the first place. Without God, I wouldn't have even gotten out of bed this morning, let alone enjoyed any success in life.
Just some random thoughts from a dad who's very excited for his kids' first games tonight, as I cheer them on but also hope they learn a little something about life in the process.
It's one of those overused phrases that is nevertheless true. Tonight is the first soccer game of the season for my daughter Rachel and son Caleb. For Rachel, it's her third season. For Caleb, his first. Caleb is the kind of kid who is never willing to admit when he's worried, scared, hurt, or angry (though sometimes whether he admits it or not it's pretty easy to tell). I won't even bother asking him about his feelings about the game tonight because he'll claim he doesn't have any...but I remember one of my "firsts."
The first time I preached a sermon was back in 1998 in Owensville, IN. I was being critiqued on the sermon because at the time I was taking a course on sermon preparation. I don't get nervous speaking in front of people, never have. That day I must have just lost track of time or prepared too much, I don't know...but my sermon dragged on for 45 minutes. The critique was generally positive, but with a very important piece of advice..."The mind cannot absorb what the seat cannot endure." Good advice. I learned a lot that first year I spent in ministry, mostly about what not to do (as we all do in something new). I struggled, among other things, with feelings of inadequacy and doubt about whether I was "cut out" for what I was doing, or had any business at all trying to do it.
Anyway, I was trying to put myself in Caleb's figurative soccer "shoes" and think through what I can say to him to somehow prepare him for something new like his first ever soccer game. The advice I'm giving him is, I think, good advice for any of us who are venturing into something new and unknown in life:
1) It's ok to mess up. Let me say that again. It's OK to mess up! Why? Because, with the exception of Jesus, we have all messed up! What's important is not that we are perfect, but that we learn from our mistakes and make the corrections necessary in our lives so when the same situation comes up again, we do a little better the next time. That's the process of maturing that we all go through in life. Before he was crucified upside down in Rome for preaching about Jesus, Peter denied that same Jesus three times, right in front of him. He messed up, but he learned from it.
2) Don't think more highly of yourself than you should. There's nothing wrong with being confident. There is a whole lot wrong with thinking you're the best and making sure you let it be known through your words and actions at every opportunity. Paul wrote to the church in Rome, "Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us."Trust me, you're not "all that." I'm most definitely not "all that." When you start building yourself up, you're in for a long, painful crash back to earth.
3) Don't build yourself up at the expense of others. If you cut everyone else's legs off at the knees to make yourself taller, you haven't grown an inch. You've simply made everyone else shorter. I told Caleb that the best thing he can to to make himself look good on the soccer field is to play in such a way that the team has success. That way everyone looks good. Success as a team is always better than personal glory. Ask any professional athlete who won a scoring title or made it to twelve all-star games but never won a championship. Romans 12:10 says, "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
This is true in life! Look for ways to make those around you better. In your workplace, on your team, in your family. Let's all grow taller, instead of just making others shorter.
4) Give praise to those who deserve it. Make sure you look for opportunities to praise those around you. If a teammate scores a goal...don't get upset that you didn't score...be genuinely happy for them. That way when your time comes, you'll have a team full of people who are excited for you in return (at least we hope that's what happens). When you see your kids or your spouse or your friend do something praiseworthy, take a moment to call them out for their success! A little praise can go a long way.
Likewise, remember the One who always deserves the credit. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." It doesn't matter what you're doing. This applies to every area of life: sports, work, relationships, money, etc. If we're motivated by personal glory, that will make US look good...but that's not what life is supposed to be about. It's all about making God look good. So if I have success on the playing field...it's an opportunity to thank God and give Him praise for keeping me safe, giving me success, and for giving me the physical and mental skills to be successful in the first place. Without God, I wouldn't have even gotten out of bed this morning, let alone enjoyed any success in life.
Just some random thoughts from a dad who's very excited for his kids' first games tonight, as I cheer them on but also hope they learn a little something about life in the process.
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